What’s the purpose of a property listing video? It’s all in the title, really. To list a property on video! It sounds pretty straight forward, and yet, the trend to stand out by inserting song, dance, plot, or Porsche continues. Sometimes it works, most of the time it doesn’t, and all of the time the choices are questionable.
Case in point:
Valleyview Cr, Hackham West
Listed by Andrew Kyriacou, AKA Sub-Zero Andrew, this 1,2,3 bedroom property in Hackam West is the perfect place to stage a Mortal Kombat fight enactment. Says who? Says Sub-Zero Andrew—real estate agent, ambiguously accented voice over artist, and winner of most questionable listing video in quite some time. Well, at least since his Tupac impersonation nine years ago.
Kirby Street, Rydalmere
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CuqnjZPusHz/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA%3D%3D
Nothing screams luxury like a casual Brabus G Wagon flex pulling into the suburban driveway of a 4 bed 1 bath family home in Greater Western Sydney with water stains on the roof. Driven by the likes of Christiano Ronaldo, those wheels cost somewhere around the $1.2M mark—so when the agents at Ray White Parramatta offer to show you the rental, best believe it’s parked in the driveway.
Endeavour Road, Georges Hall
Twenty years ago, a young child walked the suburban streets of South-western Sydney with a dream: to one day become a builder and drive a monster truck. Fast forward two decades, and he’s bald. Wait, sorry, he’s driving a monster truck with the plates IMBLD. Honest mistake. Soundtracked by Skrillex’s nightmares and edited by someone seemingly learning morse code, this LJ Hooker video screams Ken’s mojo dojo casa house. YEA!
Henty Hwy, Beulah
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDhk-mEIIIw
From one extreme to the other, over at North West Real Estate, they’ve no time for theatrics. Instead of showing off, they simply show it. In this tour of a derelict home in Beulah, a small Victorian town with a population of 312 people, “everything you see comes with the property.” The walls are adorned with what our spade-calling narrator dubs “some interesting graffiti”, whilst the MacGyvered electric wiring “doesn’t look professionally done.” The narration reaches peak Dale Kerrigan when the classic metal Hill’s Hoist earns a glowing review as “still in very good nick — nearly as good as the day it was built.” Palette cleansed.
Expensive Penthouse, Melbourne
Ever wanted to party with the zagency providing us with zeverending content? The crew over at Zed Real Estate kindly invite us to raise the roof with them in this low-key, modest tour of a $23M Melbourne penthouse. Opening on what seems like a wedding toast but turns out to just be a very public pat-on-the-back, a subtle soundtrack with the lyrics “spending money like I just got paid, hundred dollar bills…” drops in the background. The suits look suave, the gowns glamorous, and the champagne forever flowing—but as to what the penthouse looks like? Couldn’t tell you zanything.
Bedfordshire, England
It’s not just the Australian real estate industry creating questionable content. Over in the UK, estate agent Claire Cossey has made a name for herself and her musical listing videos. A Jill of many trades, Mrs Cossey is also a professional singer (yep, we double checked) and sometimes can’t resist the chance to combine her two careers together. Though she may have forgotten the key to the song, she was still able to unlock the door of this 5-bedroom home in Bedfordshire and remind us just how long the Never Ending Story is.
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Ocean Blvd, Corona del Mar
https://youtu.be/v2fLe4ET1nc
Lights, camera, America! Smith Group Real Estate tout themselves as the leading luxury home listers in Orange County, California, once dropping $50K on a marketing video for a $45M Newport Beach listing. While there’s no official word on how much this cheese delivery cost, the production budget must have been higher than whoever approved this for release. Published 11 months ago, they can’t even blame it on the Hollywood writer’s strike.
